waiting.

*disclaimer* this blog post was written under very exhausted circumstances and was published without being read back through and edited!! sorry! :)


In middle school I couldn’t wait for high school.  In high school I couldn’t wait for college.  In college I couldn’t wait to graduate.  After college I couldn’t wait for every single Friday of every single week!  It seems like my whole life has just been one waiting period after another.  Looking back, I realize that I’ve wasted so many wonderful moments anticipating the next bigger, better moment.

Right now, I am in my mid-twenties, unmarried, and have no little kiddos.   If you would have given me a glimpse of my twenties on my 16^th birthday I never would have believed you – this is NOT what I had planned. 

Social media doesn’t make it any easier to not long for the next stage of life.   With a steady flow of new wedding pictures, house construction pictures, baby pictures, and recently even baby number 2, and number 3 pictures, it can be quite difficult to not feel left behind. 

How drab is it to move away from the beautiful, breath-taking mountains, back to a small town in the south?  How monotonous is it to get up and work 8+ hours at a desk job, then top the day off with a few more hours at job #2 or job #3?  I use any brain power I have left to study for the MCAT, then off to bed and the cycle starts again. 

Sounds kind of boring, right?

I’ll be honest – I have my days where I long for the next few stages so much it hurts.   It’s so easy to fall back into that kind of mindset and way of living. 

But it’s wrong.

By yearning for and focusing on others’ stages of life, I am letting my OWN life slip right through my fingers! 

So these days I’m learning to live IN the moment – or as my precious Colorado roommate, Ellie, would say “I’m learning to just BE’, and how to squeeze every possible ounce of life out of every second of the day, marinating in its beauty.

I don’t know about yours, but the majority of my moments every day aren’t too exhilarating and therefore easy to cruise right on through without blinking an eye.  But it’s THESE moments that are constantly shaping me.  The common, everyday things that go on with common, everyday people are actually very significant components of my life. 

John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”  Well, for me, life has been what's happened while I've been busy waiting on (insert future moment here), or trying to get (insert place here), or trying to have enough (insert worldly thing here). 

It’s the ordinary, mundane moments that when strung together, create the sweet melody of our lives.  The handful of “big moments” are like beautiful chords played loud and majestically, but only resonate for so long. 

I'm realizing that what I keep waiting for has actually always been right there in front of me.  My family, friends, co-workers, and community are woven together to create this tapestry called life.   My tapestry is different than every other persons.  It is special and unique, designed personally by God.  To question the timing of the work is to question the artist, and to question the artist is insulting.    

Today, in all its glory, is surely a gift from above – stop wasting it by desiring tomorrow to be your right now, for it is not guaranteed to happen at all.

embrace THIS moment. just BE.